I'm scared. I can feel myself slowly detaching from my body. The emptiness is back. I am floating. I am lost. It's because I'm out of meds.

I literally cannot move. My arms feel like lead weights. I can't even cry. Too much energy. I had to lock all my doors and windows so I can't get out. I would do something dumb. I would totally jump in a random lake right now. Or have sex with a stranger.

I think I'm losing it. I'm screaming at my dog for no reason. The sound of someone's voice, the sound of anything really, is pushing me over the edge. I'm so angry. The sound of this keyboard clacking is making me furious. I want to go punch a hole in a wall. Instead I sit here. Everything feels like its a thousand tons.

My bgf won't talk to me. He told me not to talk to him when I'm like this. Even though I'm there for him every step of the way.. I just can't talk to him I guess. My best friend is gone. Can't exactly call her up. My dad left again.

Can I just jump through a window? That wouldn't be considered cutting. The glass would do it for me, right?

What's wrong with me. I'm going insane without my meds.

I guess I'm going to pry myself away from this desk and dance it off.

Goodbye.