So now I have not one hole in my chest, but two. My ex boyfriend was torn out of my life, and my bgf was torn out of my life by his girlfriend. I just. I'm just hurting so much. Losing my ex was enough. Losing my bgf... it's just unbearable.

Why can't I fucking get over my ex. It's just killing me. It's been a fucking year now. A year. And my heart still jumps at the sound of his name, I have to stalk him from my friends' facebook accounts because he unfriended me. I still try to catch him in the hall... One time hurting me just wasn't enough for him. And now all my scars have been ripped open, and he's the one on my mind all the time.

And then there's my bgf, and that's not any better. At least I'm not in love with him. I just love and care about him a lot, and I can't be there for him when this other chick is in the way. She doesn't even know anything about him. I just don't understand why he still chooses her. When he got out of the hospital, he was like "I was held down because I was screaming and crying, but don't tell my girlfriend." Why not?! She's your GIRLFRIEND. Why can't I just go and tell her? Shouldn't you be hanging out with people you can be truthful with? The reason you ended up in the goddamn hospital is because you hid so much from me!!! Jesus fucking christ.