Sometimes I feel as if there is just too much heartbreak in the world. I mean, how much can my heart take before its permanently scarred and damaged? I've gone through so many crippling break-ups and rejections. Why do I even try if I know that I'm most likely going to flounder and then cry myself to sleep for months afterwards? I feel so hopeless right now about the future. Everyone I love turns out not to be who I thought they were, or they do something stupid that hurts me too much to stay with them. I mean, with this new guy, he's just fucked. He never dates people he actually likes. And he's obsessed with this girl who is hours away in another state. Like dude, I'm right here. I could love you. I could take care of you, but you're not here, you're over there with her. Open your eyes. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

At the same time though, I'm not even supposed to be dating anyone, so what the fuck am I doing right now.