I am trembling.

I lift and separate every lash,
smooth every strand,
pluck every unwanted hair.

Rub little exfoliant beads
Over my skin
In the hopes that maybe
I can remove your dead memories as well.

I try to breathe
and just go with it.
But the pounding in my head
will not subside.

My glass clinks
and smells of cherry liquor.

I will not wear socks.
Socks are dorky.
I will not be dorky.
I do not know what I will be.
But I will put on my Keds
and march to this strangers house
and give myself to him,
because I gave all I had to you
and it wasn't good enough for you.

When I give myself to this stranger
he will pull me in his room and shut his door.
His mattress with be made of
memory foam.
It will conform to every contour of my body.
It will accept me.
It will fade all of these broken memories.

His black dog
will kiss my lips
and love me
more than you ever loved me.

We will play truth or dare
and I will keep choosing dare
until he decides to be brave.

And when he dares me to kiss him,
I will.
I will kiss away every bad memory
and every good memory.
I will throw it all away
with my reckless behavior
because I am not yours
anymore.
I will burn you out of my mind
like I burned our pictures
in a metal bowl
on my kitchen counter.

He will say I am beautiful.
He will say, "I can't believe this is happening."
His lips will be soft.
But not as soft as yours.

And when he is done,
he will escort me out
and I will leave
feeling liberated.

Because I am not your stupid sex slave
anymore.