I am destroying myself,
slowly.

I will not cut.
No.
That's too obvious to everyone around me.

Instead, I will set a grenade off in my heart,
so that the pain is not because of you.
It will be self inflicted
and you can't control me
anymore.

I am taking any last piece of innocence
and setting it on fire,
so that it won't hurt
when I lose everything.

I like to have control of
my life.
And if I choose to destroy
that innocent little girl,
then I am in control.

I will go out
and find friends with benefits.
It will be my goal
to feel in control.

No.
I will not have sex with you
so that I can keep the title
of "his girlfriend".

No.
I don't need your bullshit.
I will not have sex with you,
because I will NOT be forced
anymore.

I am already forced into
so much shit.
I am forced to live this life
that I didn't want.
I am forced to live this life
that I wanted to end.

So if I'm forced to live this life,
I will make it a damn good one.

And that means that you
will not be in my life
Anymore.