I feel so angry at the world. I feel so worthless and empty. I feel like I just keep fighting this everyday monotonous war to be better, smarter, wiser, kinder... and what for? So I can go to college and do this again on my own? I want to give up. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I'm hurting, I'm in pain constantly. I feel no reason to be here right now. I've been fighting for so, so long and I'm just tired. I'm so fucking tired of trying, of dragging myself out of bed every morning so I can go to school and put up with stupid people all day, stupid arrogant people who will mean nothing to be in a few years. I just want it all to go away. I don't want to try anymore. I come home and there's my parents, fighting, forgetting to pay the bills, to put dinner on the table. To take care of my brother. It's just too much. I shouldn't have to do all of this now. I'm 17. I have the rest of my life to worry about bills and work. My dreams are all messed up. I have dreams of death and hurting myself, of losing my job and having sex with random, messed up people. It's like my subconscious mind has gone crazy. Meanwhile my conscious mind is dying a slow, painful death.