I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate everyone. I just want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about anything. The sound of someone else's voice is making me cringe.

It's that monster inside me. It's eating me alive. It's trying to kill me. It's pushing everyone I love any. It's breaking all my friendships, leaving me secluded in a black, dark room. I just want it all to go away. I just want to fall asleep and never, ever wake up. I hate this life. I hate it. I hate this pain, and this hurt. I hate this fog that I'm in where I can't feel my arms, I can't formulate sentences with my mouth. I have no reason to be so sad. I keep reading his words over and over, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I'm just trying to find the right way to go right now, but no matter which way I turn, it's the wrong way. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore. And it fucking sucks.


My body's going numb. I want to die. I think I'm going crazy. It's like right before I went total freak mode. I don't even know what to do at this point. My dad is coming home. I made him come home from Steve. That's what a terrible daughter I am. So manipulative, so selfish. I don't even fucking care about anyone else.

My arms. They're so heavy, and they hurt. My head hurts. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. I feel like I'm trapped.