I miss you.

I miss your laugh.
I miss your crude jokes.
I miss the way you hugged me,
how excited you were to see me.
I miss how kind and gentle you were to me.
I miss the little things,
like how you said you were "going to goose me so hard"
when I did something annoying.

Now we're complete strangers.
In less than a year,
we met,
fell in love,
fell out of love,
tried to rekindle what we had,
and then gave up.
How could all that happen in one year.

Sometimes I seriously question what I'm doing.
Should I move in with my current boyfriend?
Do I really love him?
Do I want to spend my life with him?
I'm so young.
Am I making a huge mistake?
How can I love him so deeply
when I still miss you, and I still miss him.

Also, why do you I miss you so much?
Why all of the sudden?
I certainly didn't miss you when we broke up.
I cheated on you multiple times.
Like five or six times, and I didn't even blink.
Didn't think twice.

How could I do that to you?
To us?
And why do I regret it now, almost 5 months later?