I feel so sick today. Both emotionally and physically. I just feel so out of whack, and like.. sick to my stomach. Things seem super out of place, and I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.

I had a breakdown today during my 6th hour, and I just went and cried and stared off into space while getting yelled at by my best guy friend for not being able to snap out of it. I also got yelled at for over working myself and having a job.

See, my best guy friend is moving to another school. We dated for 6 months. I also lost my virginity to him. We were super close, but all along, I was never quite in love with him. I love him, but.. he's just super clingy, and sometime our personalities can really clash. He knows me better than anyone in this world though. He knows me better than my best girl friend. I also couldn't get over my previous ex, so that caused a lot of issues.

Anyway. He's switching schools. And I'm devastated. Because whenever I'm feeling down and out, he is always there for me. Since we go to the same school, we can just sit and talk for hours and hours. But now that he's going to be gone... who can I go to anymore? He's one of the few people I can vent to. Actually, he's the only person I can vent to. We're on the same meds, we help each other out through everything. I can't talk to my best girl friend like I talk to him.

I just feel so alone. I know people are surrounding me and caring about me, but.. I just feel so empty. And lost. I don't even want to go to school tomorrow. I don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep.

Maybe I should see if he's online or something. Idk. I just need someone right now.