Most of the time when people cry in a movie, it's because someone has died, or is dying. But I don't cry about death. I am numb to the idea of death. I'm accustomed to it. I have to be.
I have seen death. I have stared death straight in the eye. I did not tremble, I did not cry. I laughed. I danced with death. I stood on the edge and peered down at the afterlife, or whatever comes next. I dared death to push me over that edge, so I could free fall into oblivion. I pondered death. I balanced my pros and cons. And I took a step towards it. And another. And another. I was so close, I could feel it sucking the air from my lungs, my soul...
And then I told death to go fuck itself.
I don't know what changed my mind. But I decided to stay.
So now, when people cry in movies, I shake my head. They don't know death like I do. They probably never will.
And for that, I envy them.
