I understand now that you will never be gone from my life. You will always leave a gaping hole where your joyous laughter used to echo. I will learn to live around this emptiness, and build on it. One day it will be barely visible underneath all that I have accomplished. You have left me broken, but have healed me in more ways than imaginable.

I wish I could erase you from my memory.

I wish that I could see you in the halls and not be afraid. I wish that I didn't go into panic when there was a even a small chance of seeing your face. I wish I never loved you. I wish I never lost you. I wish that this eternal pain would subside. Because when it's all said and done, I left here wishing you didn't even exist. I wish you were dead.

I'm so obsessed over you. Maybe I should just die. I'm feeling really down lately.. My life is tinted black because of you. I don't want to be sad anymore. I just want this to be all over.